


something that can no longer be ignored

by undernightlight



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Light Angst, can be read as self insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:35:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26673010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undernightlight/pseuds/undernightlight
Summary: Master Kailan announces to the Jedi Council that they must leave, though gives little in way of an explanation. Confused, Obi-wan goes in search of them and of answers. He finds both. The answers were not what he was expecting.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 6





	something that can no longer be ignored

Kailan stood before the Jedi Council, hands clamped tight around their lightsaber in front of them. Very rarely had they been in the presence of a full chamber, and rarer still had they been the reason they were all there.

“Council, thank you for accepting my request to speak with you, especially on such short notice.”

“Your request, happy to grant we were. Troubled, your mind is, a meeting, necessary we know.”

Master Yoda had always been kind, and particularly patient with them as a youngling, despite not being their master. They would miss him.

“It is with regret that I must inform you of my decision to leave the Jedi Order.” It was difficult to look at any of the Council members, but Kailen refused to look at Master Kenobi. He had been there for them, just like Master Yoda had, but perhaps even more so. They had served alongside each other, he had risked his life for them, and risked theirs for him, so to leave him was particularly painful, among other reasons.

“Master Kailan, this is a heavy decision to make,” Master Windu said.

“Yes, so believe me when I say I have not made it lightly. It has been something on my mind for quite some time, and though it has been difficult for me, I know that this decision benefits everyone including the Council, and therefore also the war effort. I thank you for all that you’ve done for me since I was a youngling, but it is time I move on.”

With a swift bow to the Council, Kailan bid their farewell, turning on their heels and leaving the Council alone. To say that Obi-wan was surprised would be an understatement. He had known Kailan from when they first joined the Jedi Order, he was a fair few years older, but they had always gotten along well with each other. He always trusted them and had never felt his trust was misplaced. He had never seen a reason why Kailan would want to leave; their resignation, for lack of a better word, confused him just as much as it surprised him.

Master Yoda and Master Windu were engaged in conversation when his mind came back to him. “Yes,” Windu said to Master Yoda, “but we cannot force them to stay, whether they give us a reason or not.”

“Let me speak to them, see what they’ll tell me, if anything.” Windu and Yoda exchanged wordless glances before they turned back to Kenobi and nodded. He wasted no time, standing and leaving the Council Chamber without another word. Only once he was outside, did he realise he may not be able to find them. They didn’t say when they were leaving, but there were places he could check, hoping to find them still in the temple.

Their quarters were empty. He had hoped to get lucky with his first attempt, but alas, he was not. He passed Anakin in the hallway, and though he didn’t explain why he was looking for Kailan, he did ask, but Anakin had not seen them. He was worried, thinking he might’ve missed them, until he finally found Kailan sitting, meditating high in the temple, not in their usual spot.

He hovered in the doorway, not wanting to interrupt but knowing he needed to, at least wanted to; he needed some answers, personally regardless of the Council’s needs. When he saw a light smile dance across their face, he realised they’d been aware of his presence the entire time.

“Master Kenobi, do you make a point of sneaking up on friends?” They asked, opening their eyes and smiling more fully.

“Not usually no, but these circumstances are not the usual.” Kailan stood but didn’t speak further. He refused to get angry, this wasn’t the time, but he couldn’t help but feel frustrated that they weren’t acknowledging things as they were, that he was smiling and joking with him like they always do. “Kailan, tell me why you’re leaving.”

They chuckled. “Always straight to the point.” They took a deep breath. “I’m sorry if my decision to leave came as a surprise to you-”

“Understated.”

“Again, I’m sorry, but like I said earlier, it’s been on my mind for a while.” They sighed again and started aimlessly patrolling the space. “To be a Jedi, you must follow the Jedi Code. It’s never been easy for me, but I realised recently that I will never be able to do it, and therefore I can no longer call myself a Jedi.”

They’d talked about it before, the struggle to follow the Code, but he had never imagined the struggle to be that taxing on them. “Kailan, you don’t have to leave. Everyone has times of weakness but that doesn’t make you less of a Jedi-”

“But it does, in this case at least. Maybe if we weren’t at war things would be different, but we are, and my inability to let go of my attachments could cause men their life, and I refuse to allow that.”

He stared, unsure what to say at first, but knowing he didn’t have the luxury of time. “We all have friends we care for, but I believe that it helps us in our duty to protect, to feel the sympathy of others.”

“It is not friendship I struggle with Obi-wan.” He looked at them, eyebrows furrowed. Again, they sighed. “I suppose you want honesty, and at this point I have little to lose, so I must leave the Jedi Order because I love you.”

He had never heard them speak with such conviction. Words left him - seemingly common at this time - but he was thankful, at least partially, that they continued to speak. “It’s been something I’ve known of for a long time, and I’ve spent years ignoring it, but recently, thinking I almost lost you, made me rethink these feelings. What makes you a good general is that you put the war first, and that is a wonderful thing about you, but I know I would risk anything and everything for you. I know that if you were in trouble, I would risk the lives of my men to save you, and as a Jedi, that cannot be allowed.”

He still felt rather wordless. It was hard to know what to say, what would convey everything running though his head. Kailan could tell, and only smiled at first, before carefully taking a hold of his hand and holding it gently in their palm. “I will not stop fighting. I believe in the Republic and I believe that the Separatists need to be stopped. I hope this will not be a goodbye Obi-wan, and that I will see you again. I hope that I can still call you my friend.” He nodded rather frantically, looking at their hands around his. “May I ask a favour - a parting gift perhaps - and have you allow me a moment of weakness?” Again, he nodded.

His hand was carefully released and they stepped closer to him, wrapping arms around and embracing him, face against his chest. They were always much shorter than him, but like this, he was reminded of when they were both still padawans, still new to each other. They were still in the midst of their training and he was closer to the end of him, but they found common, childish ground, laughing and joking when they had time away. His arms came up tight around their waist and held them close. He had missed them, more than he had realised.

“Are you sure you cannot stay?” He whispered, though there was no one else around to hear them.

“After listening to my reasoning, you know I can’t,” they whispered back.

He nodded once again for they were right, before turning his head into them. It had been a very, very long time since someone had truly held him, and though he wasn’t a youngling anymore, there was comfort in the gesture, comfort he hadn’t felt in years.

Eventually, they were the one to step back, all too soon it felt, and all physical contact was long; there was a coldness against his skin. And though it was clear they were sad, they were still smiling. “It has been an honour serving alongside you, Master Kenobi.”

Speaking for the first time in a while, his voice was a little unstable, but that was okay because the sentiment was not lost. “It has been an honour serving alongside you, Master Kailan.”

They exchanged bows, before Kailan walked passed and left the room. He stood there for longer than he’d like to admit, composing himself. He had lost a lot of people in his life, through death and circumstance, and though there was a chance he could see them again, he was going to miss their presence. He hoped, though it would most likely be on the field of battle, that he would see them again.

While walking back to the Council chambers, he ran into Anakin again. “Master,” he said, “I was just informed about Kailan by the Council. Did you find them?” He nodded. “Did they tell you anything else, about why they’re leaving?”

For a moment, Obi-wan paused, but then said, “No, they wouldn’t tell me. Perhaps it will always be a mystery.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this a while ago, and I intend on writing multiple one shots of an OC (reader insert type)/SW character, so if you have any requests, let me know. And I'll continue to keep them gender neutral because that's just what I prefer, and it's nice to not always read OC/inserts that aren't default female, or it is for me at least.
> 
> If you have requests, please let me know ^_^


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